Can the Buddha’s teachings help find and sustain romantic relationships? Yes, says a new book

Modern research firmly places happiness as a skill that is acquired as the result of a series of actions and choices in life, thought and relationships. It posits happiness as an approach and attitude that can be learned.

Of course, the Buddha said all this and more some 2500 years ago. He said that happiness comes from choosing the skillful (kusala) or applying skillful remedies (upaya kusala) to different areas of life. We can choose the skilful, the helpful and the positive only when we live with awareness. This means living with intent and mindfulness.

Remedies (upaya) for what, you might ask. Remedies to dukkha, the suffering of life – its stress, pain, disappointment and sense of dissatisfaction. The feeling that life is unsatisfactory. The antidote to that dukkha is the remedy, or upaya.

Remedies can be chosen or created and then acted upon. It all depends on our understanding of this sequence and our willingness to act on it. The process starts with making the right choice.

This holds true for remedies for OUR romantic life too. The Buddha knew just how vital it is to make the right choice in companions and to choose close associates well. The importance of making the “right” choice directly...

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