‘Toxic positivity’ to indulgent pettiness: Why more people are embracing complaining

Complaining can feel cathartic, reduce stress, and, like gossiping, help feel closer to others

Feb 1, 2024 - 21:00

‘Toxic positivity’ to indulgent pettiness: Why more people are embracing complaining

Call them pet peeves, call them petty grievances, one thing is certain – complaining about everyday irritations feels cathartic. It’s also the premise of American comedy podcast I’ve Had It.

Hosts Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan state, tongue in cheek, that their goal is to compartmentalise complaining and be nicer in their day-to-day life. Their complaints range from pedestrian (cordless vacuums, people who clap when a plane lands, long Instagram captions) to political (the state of the education system). Eyebrow-raising complaints include, simply, “pregnant people”.

Since launching in late 2022, I’ve Had It has topped Apple’s podcast charts, become viral on both TikTok and X several times, and has led the hosts to guest-star on programs such as The Today Show. This podcast’s popularity across platforms signals a cultural shift from “toxic positivity” to indulgent pettiness – but a shift away from positivity into fully embracing complaints is not without risk.

Toxic positivity, emotional influencers

As community-minded creatures who want deeply to belong we often mirror others, including on social media, where we adopt phrasing, tone and expressions of emotion.

In the past few years, social media has had a focus on hyper-positivity (think cheery emojis and motivational quotes...